英语笑话
下面是小编为大家整理的英语笑话,供大家参考。
英语笑话1
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the re*, "You"re not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的.胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”
英语笑话扩展阅读
英语笑话（扩展1）
——英语笑话素材
英语笑话素材1
爸爸会不高兴的"
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who livednearby heard the noise.
一个农家小孩好像意外打翻了一车玉米，住在附近的一个农夫听见了，
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I"ll help you getthe wagon up."
喊道：“威利斯，先放那吧。过来和我们呆会儿，一会儿我帮你扶起来。”
"That"s mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don"t think Pa would like me to." "Aw, comeon," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won"t like it."
“太好了”，威利斯答道，“但是爸爸会不高兴的。”“哎呀，快来吧”，农夫仍然在坚持。“好吧”，小男孩终于点头答应了，“但是爸爸真的会不高兴。”
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa isgoing to be real upset." "Don"t be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile, "by the way, where ishe?" "Under the wagon."
一顿丰盛的晚餐之后，威利斯向农夫表示感谢：“我觉得好多了，但是爸爸肯定很不高兴。”“别傻了”，农夫笑着说，“哦，对了，你爸爸在哪了?”“车底下。”
英语笑话（扩展2）
——逗乐英语笑话
逗乐英语笑话1
宁愿给你买一件礼物
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad"s birthday.
旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。
"That"s okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."
“没关系”，他说，“我最想要的东西是你的`爱、忠贞和温顺”。
Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I"d rather buy you a gift."
妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。
英语笑话（扩展3）
——逗人英语笑话
逗人英语笑话1
harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.
“你们为什么开那么快?”*喊道。
"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!
“我们的"刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”
英语笑话（扩展4）
——英语笑话简单的3篇
英语笑话简单的1
One Point
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －"62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn"t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
一分之差
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的`怀兹中学，其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球，上面标明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。
一天，我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来，说道：“多奇怪呀，这些队都是以一分之差输掉的！"
英语笑话简单的2
Three Surgeons
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."
"That"s nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse"s posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三个外科医生
三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”
“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”
“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”
英语笑话简单的3
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn"t you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"
我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧？”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑？”，他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫？”
英语笑话（扩展5）
——开心一刻英语笑话
开心一刻英语笑话1
Witty Hare can run very fast.
机灵的`兔子跑得很快。
One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window.
一天，它回到家的时候看见一只老鼠。这只老鼠正从它家的窗户跳下去。
“Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.”
“啊!贼!”机灵兔子喊着追过去。 “你跑不过我的!”
Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind.
不一会它追上了老鼠，还把老鼠丢在后面。
“I must run away,” the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”
“我得赶紧逃。”老鼠窃笑着说：“这家伙真笨。”
Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?”
机灵兔子继续跑着。一只绵羊看到了就问它：“你在干什么?”
“I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.
“我在追贼。”机灵兔子说。
“Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.
“贼?贼在哪里啊?”绵羊感到奇怪。
“He"s behind me,”Witty Hare says proudly.
“它在我后面呢。”机灵兔子自豪地说着。
英语笑话（扩展6）
——最逗趣精彩英语笑话
最逗趣精彩英语笑话1
Knife and Drum 刀和鼓
Ma: Pa, I don"t think the neighbors like the new drum we got Johnny for Christmas.
Pa: Why not?
Ma: They gave him a knife and asked him if he knew what was in the drum.
妈：他爸，我怎么觉得邻居非常不喜欢咱们圣诞节时给约翰尼买的.新鼓呢。
爸：为什么?
妈：他们给了他一把小刀，并问他是不是想知道鼓里面是什么样的。